the ghost of mighty egoism...

ego is for male what charm is to women.....it may not be the universal truth or saying but that was certainly some thing i believed in sum minutes ago. i always thought men as the egoistic pigs who respects this pet of theirs more than us. i never knew or seen any girl having such egos or atleast i pretended i dint see......least of all i could just peek into mirror if i had to look at dat very girl around me who's filled with red,hot male ego.
it all started this afternoon......
i am a big big fan of sex & the city, dat i feel like a l'il carrie myself ,just that i dont have such money to buy manalo blahniks. so, its been long since i've been watching that sitcom n i notice much things about it, the clothes,the makeup,the shoe( especially coz evn i m a big shoe freak ) & the girls. one thing specifically was noted that these girls never hesitated in asking the guy come back to dem to the level that they looked to me like they are begging ( no offences,but seriously) .
 poor my boyfriend , never recieved such kind behaviour from me. the rarest of rare event of me prodding ( even now not begging ) him  was for the dates n that too i wont repeat the thing if he said a single no.
so i watched the episode where carrie asks eden to take her back n give their relationship a second shot n yet again i was surprised by the carrie's lack of self respect. only later when i called my boyfriend n heard his voice this reality struck me really bad, that its not carrie who's being unreasonable ...its me.
its not lack of self respect, its just too much love .i never experienced that side of love or lets say never let my heart have a say in this self respect department. it seems my fight to save my respect has turned into a battle of egos where both my bfs n my egos clash daily  n believe me you would never want that to happen.
i guess love should be given a second chance.
i want ego to loose the battle. ego's for boys n noneother's friend, atleast not mine...no...never.
let him baby this l'il pet of his n i can be happy with my charm n love forever....

y am i libran ?

gawd ! being libran is not at all easy. its like searching whole life for a balanced life which we are unable to balance. i feel like all the concious 15 years of mine ( 5 years counting to be the toddler) are gone in trying to balance the two opposites of me - the good & the bad.  i am in the middle of a  river where on one shore is one me who wants to go out there and have a crazy time of my life and the other one is trying to be faithful to her boyfriend bcoz she loves him so much. my mind resides on one corner and my heart on the other and here i m , tryin to get them both involved in each other. i totally think my mind and heart should date each other. this way they will have their problems of their own & will leave me alone to take my own decisions.
my love , my darling is not comfortable with me hanging around with my friends ,partying, drinking, dancing n all .on the other hand, i find my life useless without these guys. everytime i make a plan n i asks him, then he's all fine n supporting but i get to realise how much he hates my partying whenever we have a fight. that is a time when he blurps it all on my face the old rotten story of how i do whatever i want without caring what he feels about it. till now the question in my mind was that can i balance the both- the fun and the love ? but as time passed on by n i got enlightened by the fact that my life will be a bowl of mashed potatoes without any salt or sweet if dont choose between the two, i have a new question to ask that do i love him so much that i can leave all my frens- male n female ( m nt evn allowed meet my male counterparts ) ? will he be the enough cake to fill my stomach ? i think that i sould ask him this one - can he play the roles of evry person i'll leave for him  just to satisfy his possesiveness ? too many questions huh ?
well, it'd be unfair not to consider his point in whole this confusion part . the reason behind all of this, as he confesses, is that he's too protective about me. this sentence as a whole is so suffocating for me let alone him doing this in action. i love protective guys, in fact, who doesnt but its certainly not a libran trait to let him dictate what i should do and what i dont. n if he shows his mighty understnading towards it then he should stop making mr feel guilty as to y i go out with my frens .
so my thinking genes starts to work here n so do my great confusion of the year - what way i should continue being his dream girlfrind - by unleashing the head-over-heels in love part of me, being honest to him n leaving my frens ( male n female) alone in this cruel world of parties or jumping on the mind corner of the room, have a gud time with my frens n keep all my crazy time locked in the confidential folder so that he could blissfully live in ignorance.
the choice remains...................................................

plum chum !

purple is a biggie color of the season...true eclectic in nature, a signature royalty at one face n a hint of punk on the other.

the picture here is of marc jacobs for fall winter 2009.he used the color in his collection in many forms . from day glow screaming capes to mettallic brocade minis. in prints or allover, the color shines up to you withour blinding the eyes.

its a color used in numerous variants .its everything but mute.

zac posen too recommends the color for this fall winter. i find purple very intriguing.for me , a certain article is shoppable if its purple ...other details comes later.not only me but my most of the buddeies are purplemaniacs. i am sure most of the girls and a few boys( who can carry this color) agrees with this puppy love of mine ....isnt it ?

anyone who hates the color has their own taste but even if u loathe the color you cant deny the fact that this amore color stands out. if you dont believe me then try it out. this amore color is my daysaver,datesaver & moodsaver color.

guess wat ? even wen i am writing this , i am wearing purple ...gawd ipsa ! grow up !

the one...

this concept of having that ' one ' in our lives is very overhyped. is there actually a person worth waiting for ? or worth saving virginity for ???
here in india, that person is alwys the husband, THE GREAT INDIAN HUSBANDS who are eager to fuck evry oder gal and in return demands for a virgin bride. y dont they ask themselves from where are these brides coming from? its the same fuck pool in which you take bath evryday. so y to expect something which evn you cant deliver ?
commitment is the easiest tool of a fool...dats the philosophy of modern romeo. shakespeare darling, none reads you except wen dere's a compulsion or wen dere r people like me . american pie interests us more.

which girls these are i think i know
their homes is in the neighbour though
her parents will not see me stopping there
to watch dat gal fill up wid my bro

the girls are lovely,fair & deep
but i have no promises to keep,
many to deflower before i sleep,
many to deflower before i sleep.

sorry,robert frost but no offences meant....m nt mocking you but the boys...

me

for me evryday is a new day to embibe the essence,touch & complications of relationships.
besides fashion i just like to study d basic compulsion of life called relations. nobody can get away from dem no matter how worse part of life dey are. i call myself relationship addict,,who like to surround herself with a big bunch of relations including my bittersweet boyfriends. boyfriends boyfriends boyfriends...gawd ! i curse dem more dan i love dem n still i long dem. this was my status before i meet my love ,the one n only. 'the one'......................