gawd ! being libran is not at all easy. its like searching whole life for a balanced life which we are unable to balance. i feel like all the concious 15 years of mine ( 5 years counting to be the toddler) are gone in trying to balance the two opposites of me - the good & the bad. i am in the middle of a river where on one shore is one me who wants to go out there and have a crazy time of my life and the other one is trying to be faithful to her boyfriend bcoz she loves him so much. my mind resides on one corner and my heart on the other and here i m , tryin to get them both involved in each other. i totally think my mind and heart should date each other. this way they will have their problems of their own & will leave me alone to take my own decisions.
my love , my darling is not comfortable with me hanging around with my friends ,partying, drinking, dancing n all .on the other hand, i find my life useless without these guys. everytime i make a plan n i asks him, then he's all fine n supporting but i get to realise how much he hates my partying whenever we have a fight. that is a time when he blurps it all on my face the old rotten story of how i do whatever i want without caring what he feels about it. till now the question in my mind was that can i balance the both- the fun and the love ? but as time passed on by n i got enlightened by the fact that my life will be a bowl of mashed potatoes without any salt or sweet if dont choose between the two, i have a new question to ask that do i love him so much that i can leave all my frens- male n female ( m nt evn allowed meet my male counterparts ) ? will he be the enough cake to fill my stomach ? i think that i sould ask him this one - can he play the roles of evry person i'll leave for him just to satisfy his possesiveness ? too many questions huh ?
well, it'd be unfair not to consider his point in whole this confusion part . the reason behind all of this, as he confesses, is that he's too protective about me. this sentence as a whole is so suffocating for me let alone him doing this in action. i love protective guys, in fact, who doesnt but its certainly not a libran trait to let him dictate what i should do and what i dont. n if he shows his mighty understnading towards it then he should stop making mr feel guilty as to y i go out with my frens .
so my thinking genes starts to work here n so do my great confusion of the year - what way i should continue being his dream girlfrind - by unleashing the head-over-heels in love part of me, being honest to him n leaving my frens ( male n female) alone in this cruel world of parties or jumping on the mind corner of the room, have a gud time with my frens n keep all my crazy time locked in the confidential folder so that he could blissfully live in ignorance.
the choice remains...................................................
